SAZFEST

Spring certainly arrived last Sunday and the sun was shining brightly in Widnes where I attended SAZFEST, a very special day in memory of a young lady who, by all accounts, certainly shone brightly on all who met her.

Although, sadly, I never had the chance to meet Sara, I have been extremely privileged to meet and get to know her family; Mum Debbie, Dad Eamonn, sister Steph and brother Chris.

Our first contact was at the beginning of 2010, a little less than a year after Sara had died suddenly from Pneumococcal Septicaemia.  Sara was only just eighteen when she died and through my conversations with her family it became obvious that she was a special person, popular with everyone and somebody who had a real human touch.  This touch came naturally.  She always had a smile for people and always had time for others, particularly if she knew they were struggling in any way.

Back in November Debbie contacted me to say the family wanted to mark the fifth year since Sara’s death by holding an event to raise money for charity (luckily we at CBUK would be benefitting from this) and to remember Sara for the person she was.

And so to Widnes on March 9^th where we ran, jogged, walked, chatted and laughed around six laps of the sports field of the college that Sara attended.  For many it was an extremely emotional day. Some shed a tear but all paid tribute to a young lady who had certainly made an impression on everybody there.

After the hard work in the sun we went back to a local club for a buffet, raffle and entertainment.  I’ve no doubt at all that Debbie and her family were drained by bed time.  They put such effort into making the day one to remember and by making it a day so fitting to Sara.

As well as raising money they also raised awareness of bereavement, a difficult subject but an important issue that affects us all.  I can never fail to be humbled by the selfless efforts of people like Debbie, Eamonn, Steph and Chris who despite their own personal tragedies can make such efforts to ultimately help others.

Rich 

Scotland entertain England in Glasgow

With Christmas fast becoming a distant memory and work heads firmly back in place the DH Team travelled up to Glasgow to meet with our Scottish counterparts last week.  Sadly Liz couldn’t make it but she’d been busy with Shirley in London earlier in the week presenting to CDOP in Newham.    And so from a cold and dark station in Wigan Shirley (now obviously back from London) and I boarded the train to Glasgow Central.

I’d lived near Glasgow some years ago and so I was keen to see how that great city was getting on.  I wasn’t disappointed.  My own city, Liverpool has fantastic buildings and many ‘jewels’ to visit, eat in or indeed drink in but Glasgow seems even greedier in that sense.  So much on offer!

Anyway enough of the travel guide for a moment.  I have to say a big thank you to Steve, Eileen and Gabby for their welcome, for their company and also for providing the opportunity to put our heads together and look at and reflect on our respective projects.  Working remotely brings many challenges but with the support of our colleagues in Saunderton and with having a team now doing similar work in Scotland, things are made so much easier.

The time we had to take a step back and view our progress and analyse the positives and some of the more difficult aspects was invaluable.  It was also interesting to look at the differences in each area.  One of the features of the English and Scottish development projects is that each location is unique and has its own particular needs with regards bereavement support.

After working through to early evening Gabby, an adopted Glaswegian from Australia, arranged for us to eat at a fantastic little place called The Tiki Bar and Kitsch Inn which majors in delicious Thai food.  A quirky little establishment with many interesting artefacts in the bar downstairs, including a full sized coffin!   After dinner we headed back to the hotel though Steve and I did make a bit of a detour, wandering around Glasgow before enjoying the delights of an old Glasgow hostelry that specialises in whiskey.  We did sample a couple but we were also, somewhat surprisingly, quite sensible and returned to the hotel at a reasonable hour.

We gathered the following morning to conclude our work and log our learning before heading our separate ways.  A great two days which were extremely valuable in many ways and with a nice spot of team building thrown in.  Using my usual football analogy we look forward to a return leg somewhere south of the border at some point in the not too distant future!

Rich

Happy New Year!

I have some brave snowdrops pushing their green shoots through the cold soil of my front garden so it must be January.  Also, here on the north-west coast, Rich and I have been fortunate to not be as waterlogged as some areas of the country – our colleague Liz overcame the Oxfordshire waters to get to our first team meeting of the year last Tuesday. The Regional Development Project in England is half-way through its three-year remit so we feel energised and motivated to pursue our aims with even more enthusiasm as we commence 2014. A few days in Middlesbrough last month were very productive and I never cease to be delighted by the warmth of the welcomes we have so often received.  We have forged relationships in all six of our target areas now (in case you’ve forgotten, that’s Hackney, Hull, Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Newham and Stoke) and look forward to further progress this year. Bereavement awareness is certainly rising up the agenda in many areas – including parliament where issues around bereavement leave are currently being aired.

Next week we have the pleasure of meeting up with our Scottish colleagues who are undertaking a very similar project in Scotland, and we anticipate some constructive conversations with Steve, Eileen and Gabby – as well as some “team-building”!  Before returning home I’m travelling to Scarborough from Glasgow, to speak at a conference, so I’m rather hoping trains don’t get impacted by snow next week.  Indeed, I’m in London with Liz the day before we go to Glasgow, so it’s one of those weeks where trains and laptops figure highly.  The travelling reminds me that bereavement is a universal concern, and whilst each griever’s journey is unique, there is much to be said for a broader, shared understanding of those journeys in the wider population.  Whilst not wishing to wax too lyrical, I am immensely proud of the work Child Bereavement UK is doing to facilitate that growing understanding and support.  Whilst we may never eliminate sadness and suffering, we can certainly endeavour to eliminate ignorance and insensitivity.  Our thoughts go to those for whom a new year simply looks bleak in the absence of a much loved friend or family member.  And our encouragement and thanks go to those alongside who are offering their time and support.

Shirley

Managing Christmas

When someone important in a family has died, Christmas can feel so very different and hard to manage.

It’s not at all unusual for people to feel that they want to ‘cancel’ Christmas. When everything is so family-focused, the gap in a family is highlighted even more.  Christmas can feel like an enormous struggle with a strong sense that things can never be the same again, and facing the first Christmas without that special person can be especially painful.

Families tell us that the run up to Christmas – with all the anticipation and excitement that accompanies it – can be harder to deal with than the actual day itself. Often, people feel they don’t have the heart for shopping for presents, sending cards or entering into festivities - yet if there are children in the family, it is unlikely that Christmas can be ignored.

Read more about managing Christmas on our website

Also, you can read about Joanna and Matt's experience of Christmas after the death of their twins Oliver and Joseph

Update from the Regional Development Team

The Regional Development Team enjoyed time at Head Office in Saunderton this week.  It’s always good to come down and connect with colleagues and make sure they don’t forget us!   We’ve also been out and about in our areas as well. 

Last week Liz was in London meeting with Newham CDOP before travelling up to Staffordshire to meet with people from Health.  Shirley and I have also been travelling, spending four days in Middlesbrough and encountering some lively weather and even a power cut during our stay.  We managed to fit in some really positive meetings though.

On arriving on Tuesday we met with Teesside Hospice and their ‘Forget Me Not’ service before moving on to CDOP Middlesbrough to find out how they operate.

Wednesday found us with Mark Davis at Middlesbrough Voluntary Development Agency (MVDA).  Mark has been a great ‘find’ in the area with his local knowledge and the host of fantastic contacts he’s linked us with.

Thursday and we were back at MVDA as we were invited to attend an event centred around the ‘Best Start Boro’ initiative, a 10 year project to improve outcomes for children from conception to their fourth birthday.  We’re hopeful that the area of bereavement will have a place on the list of local priorities.   The James Cook University Hospital was our next port of call to link up with some lovely people at the bereavement services team before we headed off to the coast to Redcar where we met with Lawrence at The Junction, a great service which offers a whole raft of support to local children, young people and their families.  We loved their vision of Belonging , Resilience, Belief, Opportunity, Potential. Wouldn’t it be great if everybody could fulfil such a vision?

Energy levels perhaps should’ve been on the wane by Friday but there was no chance of that when we visited Heather at Together Middlesbrough seeing the fantastic community initiatives at the Trinity Centre before moving on to meet with Middlesbrough MIND.  Our trip ended with a visit to MP Andy McDonald’s office.  Andy was very positive about our work, really understood our remit and pointed us in the direction of more contacts.  He also offered further support and was keen to be updated.  

So as we hurtle towards the end of another year the project is progressing well.  We’re looking forward to moving it forward some more in 2014!

Rich Stafford

Getting ready for an abseil

Last week we visited the Pinnacle building in Milton Keynes which will be the venue for our abseil in May 2014.

Here's the view from the top!  Its a 100ft drop.

Anyone brave enough to take on the challenge or for more information contact Emma Riley on 01494 568912 or emma.riley@childbereavementuk.org

Introducing the Regional Development Project

How lovely to have a blogspot!  And thanks, Steve, for the Scottish update.  As the blog is fairly new, I thought readers might like some background to these Child Bereavement UK projects.  Last year, with DH funding, we commenced a three-year project to enhance bereavement support initiatives in six of England’s more deprived areas.  This has led us to Hull, Hackney, Liverpool, Middlesbrough, Newham and Stoke, meeting with other voluntary organisations, schools, health practitioners, MP’s, and more. We’re already improving signposting to services and liaison between various agencies through the Advisory Groups and the seminars we've held.

September 2013 saw us celebrating the first year of the England project, as well as the commencement of the Scottish project.

L-R: Ann Rowland, Director of Bereavement Services; Rich Stafford, Localities Development Co-ordinator (North); Shirley Potts, Director of Regional Development; Ann Chalmers, CEO Child Bereavement UK; Liz Morgan, Localities Development Co-ordinator (South) 

In the last couple of weeks we held conferences in Hull and Stoke, mostly aimed at education folk and partnering a local charity in each area, and Liz has been busy supporting a CHYPS programme at Richard House Children’s Hospice in Newham.  We are so grateful for the contacts we’ve been able to develop in each of our areas – we’ve met some great people who share our passion for raising awareness about bereavement support. Next week Rich and I are in Middlesbrough for four days and look forward to forging more relationships there – but more about that next time we blog!

Shirley Potts